You know you're Swiss IF...
You have ever been asked - upon stating your nationality - whether you live in the mountains and whether you can yodel--or play the alp horn.
- you've ever been confused with a Swede.
- you laugh when Americans believe Swiss Miss is a Swiss product, but then have no clue that Nestlé and Rolex ARE.
- you get frustrated if you go grocery shopping abroad and there aren't at least 10 different kinds of chocolate and 15 kinds of cheese available.
- you have learned three to four languages and think this is completely normal.
- you have ever been asked - upon stating your nationality - whether you live in the mountains and whether you can yodel.
- you know what "Röschti" are and you have crossed the "Röschtigrabe" at some point.
- to you, skis are like the extensions of your feet, because you've skied since you could walk.
- you are amused when people ask you what language is spoken in your home country and/or you have to explain that "Swiss" is not a language, that there are four national languages and none of them is called "Swiss"!
- you owned a Swatch growing up... or still do.
- as a female, you give all your friends three kisses on the cheeks as a greeting.
- you love Migros and you swear that some of their products are better than anything you've ever seen elsewhere.
- you've ever been asked by your non-Swiss friends to intervene in a fight and used "hey, I'm Swiss" as an excuse not to.
- your country has six different public television channels in three different languages - and you don't think this is unusual.
- you get amused when you see Swiss German people being subtitled on German television.
- you firmly believe it is more important to do things accurately than to do them quickly.
- you were legally allowed to drink beer and wine at the age of sixteen.
- you walked to kindergarten without supervision, wearing a large orange triangle around your neck.
- you think it's normal that everyone has a bunker underneath their house, or is registered for one of the public bunkers under the school building, for emergency situations... by the way, here's a fun thing to do: invite over some of your foreign friends (Americans make very good candidates) and take a picture of the look on their face when they SEE the bunker. Priceless!
- when being asked to explain how certain things work in your country, you have to use the phrase "it differs for each canton, so...
- you are asked to vote on a "Referendum" or "Initiative" at least 3 or 4 times a year.
- you grew up believing all cows must wear bells.
- you think that driving somewhere for four hours is a hell of a long time.
- you get slightly irritated or at least confused if your foreign visitors ask to see a chocolate factory.
- you don't see where the problem is when every male citizen who has been to the army has an assault rifle under his bed.
- no matter how much of a "bad-ass" you think you are, you will still pick up your candy wrapper off the floor if an old lady asks you too.
